You might thank me for this someday.
It's broad daylight, you're on the highway driving at 60mph and the urge strikes. You crane your head looking for signs for the nearest rest stop, the nearest exit, only to discover there IS no exit for 50 miles! You can't hold it! You consider your options. You even look for receptacles to pee into, only to have your partner nix that idea (though I know plenty of rock bands who put an old Big Gulp cup to good use without blinking an eye.) You look for trees, shrubs, bushes, ANYTHING you might hide behind (and I am assuming, by the way, that you are a woman--men just seem to hop out of the car, turn their backs and let fly, so to speak.) But there's a fence along the guard rail and miles of ankle-high weeds--that's it.
Ah, the simplicity of the solution! I wish I could say I thought of it, but I didn't. I wish I could give credit where credit is due, but I can't--I don't remember who taught me this trick, but here it is.
1. Travel with tissues and a plastic/zip lock bag (or a baby who has a diaper bag with container for gross bodily-fluid-contaminated items)
2. Pull over by the side of the highway
3. Open your door
4. Open the door behind you! (Warning: this only works if you drive a four-door vehicle that isn't a van with those sliding doors)
5. You now have privacy. Sit on what would be the bumper of your car, if cars still had bumpers
6. Keep your tissue in the glove compartment, along with the zip lock bag--do not litter!
7. When you stop at the next rest stop and see a line full of women waiting to use the ladies room, smile and refrain from shouting "Suckas!"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Also a good way to change one's clothes in a parking lot, or get out of a wet bathing suit after a day at the beach.
So imagine that your peeing problem happens on the West Side Highway in NYC and that you are 8 months pregnant and that you have the sliding doors kind of van and that your only travelling companion is a 3 year old and that you remember some guitarist from another band you were playing with at the Wetlands almost got hauled off to the station house when a cop saw him relieving himself in the back alley.* So you are DESPERATE and stopping in NYC is impossible. There's the parking, the mean Starbucks baristas who insist you buy a latte EVEN if you are 8 months pregnant. And then of course there is that three year old.
So here is your predicament. ANd then there was TRAFFIC. Not ordinary accordion traffic, but honest to goodness-it's-gonna-take-an-hour-to-get-to-the-village-kind-of-traffic. So you find yourself an aforementioned Big Gulp style cup. You get out your diaper bag luxuries. You thank the heavens for your privacy glass and for the break down pull off spot. Then you proceed to pee into the cup. Whereupon your three year old says, "Mama! You can't go pee pee in the car!"
*Apparently peeing in public is a crime, pooping in public on the other hand is considered involuntary and therefore NOT a crime. That's according to NYC law. Might be different in your neck of the woods. In OUR yard, it is forbidden to poop on purpose in the yard, but peeing by anyone under the age of... well so far, 7, is entirely OK.
One assumes that by "bumper" you mean "running board"?
Cars still have bumpers, and that seems to be a bad place to use.
Once i had to pee so bad that i got out into the forest and peed right infront of my boy friend. i had to go sooooooooo bad. plz leave more ideas 4 me. cuz ill need them!
Ali Wong said place a baby diaper in your pants stop get 2nd if needed to finish. BTW all brands of adult diapers do not work. Did a trial run at home. Serious overflow. Sometimes drive significant distance for medical appointments & have gotten in traffic jam with a painfully full bladder. Didn't think I'd make it.
Post a Comment