Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Patty's Starbucks Contribution

[Eidtor's note: This is from our manager, Patty, who was forced to become employed at Starbucks, all because people started burning our CDs instead of buying them.]

Now that you are out on your own and mom is not brewing your coffee, you will likely be spending more time at Starbucks getting your caffeinated beverages. Firstly, be nice to your barista. They usually have been studying Latin till 2:00am or working at your local restaurant the evening before, serving yummy Mexican food, or managing your favorite band. Also, once they know you, your drink might be ready when you get to the counter and you will not be late to work.

The Barista’s don’t expect you to speak perfect “starbuckees” but as they say, when in France…. Here are the basics on how to order your starbucks beverage.

1. If you would like an ICED drink, mention it first.

2. SIZE…Short (very, very small) Tall (small), Grande (medium), Venti (large)

3. Milk Type ….Starbucks uses 2% milk as the standard. If you don’t mention anything, this is what you will get. If you would like non standard milk (something other than 2%), now is the time to mention it. Would you like fat free, whole milk, soy milk…

4. Drink Type….. Latte, Cappuccino, Americano, Mocha, Frappaccino

Of course there are many other options and special requests like adding syrup (Katryna likes the caramel), extra shots, extra hot, no foam, energy boost etc. but if you get 1-4 basics down in that order, you should get the drink just the way you like it. If not, don’t be shy about asking the Barista to remake the drink.

Monday, May 26, 2008

How to Pee by the Side of the Road

You might thank me for this someday.

It's broad daylight, you're on the highway driving at 60mph and the urge strikes. You crane your head looking for signs for the nearest rest stop, the nearest exit, only to discover there IS no exit for 50 miles! You can't hold it! You consider your options. You even look for receptacles to pee into, only to have your partner nix that idea (though I know plenty of rock bands who put an old Big Gulp cup to good use without blinking an eye.) You look for trees, shrubs, bushes, ANYTHING you might hide behind (and I am assuming, by the way, that you are a woman--men just seem to hop out of the car, turn their backs and let fly, so to speak.) But there's a fence along the guard rail and miles of ankle-high weeds--that's it.

Ah, the simplicity of the solution! I wish I could say I thought of it, but I didn't. I wish I could give credit where credit is due, but I can't--I don't remember who taught me this trick, but here it is.

1. Travel with tissues and a plastic/zip lock bag (or a baby who has a diaper bag with container for gross bodily-fluid-contaminated items)
2. Pull over by the side of the highway
3. Open your door
4. Open the door behind you! (Warning: this only works if you drive a four-door vehicle that isn't a van with those sliding doors)
5. You now have privacy. Sit on what would be the bumper of your car, if cars still had bumpers
6. Keep your tissue in the glove compartment, along with the zip lock bag--do not litter!
7. When you stop at the next rest stop and see a line full of women waiting to use the ladies room, smile and refrain from shouting "Suckas!"

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Introducing: Question of the Day

Katryna and I officially launched How to Be an Adult yesterday at Broadside Books in Northampton, MA. It was pouring rain and so hard to find a parking space that Katryna didn't arrive until about 40 minutes into the reading. She had a good idea (she's full of good ideas): to sing a song that went along thematically with the section I was reading. The book is divided into an introduction and five parts.

1. Vocation and Avocation (everything from figuring out what you want to be when you grow up to how to put together a resume to the importance of failure)
2. The Vehicle that Is You (the life-coachy section of the book, all about self care)
3. Bloom Where You Are Planted (how to rent an apartment, choose and get along with housemates, keep your place clean, shop for groceries and cook yummy healthy food-recipes included)
4. Money, Cars, Insurance and a Bunch of Other Boring Stuff (just that)
5. Other People (includes a section on democracy, voting with your pocketbook and all sorts of relationship advice)

I read the section on Voting with Your Pocketbook before Katryna arrived; then I read the section on dating and we sang "Tailspin." For the preface to Vocation and Avocation, we sang "Night Rider's Lament" and for "Carpet Therapy" and "Smile Yoga" (in "Eight Cheap Forms Of Therapy") we sang "When I'm Here." Someone at the reading suggested we put together a play list to go along with the book. As soon as someone explains to me how to do that, I will!

We asked for questions and answers (since we need answers as much as we need questions) and didn't get many (or any). So I am extending this invitation to you readers to please ask us questions. We will research until we find answers. And we will ask YOU questions too.

Question of the Day: How hard is it to find a neighborhood bank that gives you compound interest on a savings account?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey

I was doing an interview with Monty Belmonte today on WRSI in Northampton, and he said, "Do you have 'righty tighty lefty loosey' in your book? Because you should. That's probably been the most successful navigational tool I've had in adulthood. But tell your readers, it goes for everything EXCEPT propane gas knobs. I found that out the hard way."

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

How to Be an Adult

Greetings, readers, and welcome to our first post!

The book came out on May 3, 2008 and we are keeping our publishing partner Collective Copies mighty busy trying to keep up with demand. So far, we've sold over 100 copies and are getting great feedback from our readers. We are glad. This is the book we wish we'd been given fresh out of college and wet behind the ears.

A word about eggs: our friend Gay Daly wrote a blurb for the back of the book which says, A friend of mine once said, “In college I studied Shakespeare, calculus, molecular biology. What I really wish I had learned was: How long do eggs keep in the refrigerator?” How to be an Adult is packed with information required to make it in the real world where a person needs to rent an apartment, vote, set up a 401(K) and buy those eggs. If you know anyone who is graduating soon, buy them a copy of this book. It might be more useful than a car.

However, we neglected to include this important information in our first edition. So how do you know if an egg is okay to eat? Katryna says:

Fill a pot with water. Put the questionable egg(s) in. If they float to the top, throw them out! If they turn on their ends, eat them immediately and throw out the next day. If they stay placidly on the bottom, they're good for weeks!

More to come--please stay tuned!

Love, Nerissa and Katryna